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Saturday, 31 May 2014

One Star Wonders Part III: 3D Edition

Sadako 3D and Apartment 1303 3D

What do you say about a movie so bad it actually leaves you speechless? Not much. You just kindly warn others... Presenting the third instalment of One Star Wonders.

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Up first, Sadako. It manages it's one star for plot - although the story itself was terrible, the way it played out did make for an interesting display of gender role reversal. It is literally the ONLY interesting thing in this one.

Ok. Where do I start? I suppose my biggest mistake was going into this one with high hopes. I am not only a fan of J-Horror, but I really enjoyed the Ringu and Ring movies. So this 3rd sequel about the deadly video going viral seemed like the best way to spend a Wednesday afternoon. Even the 3D didn't worry me too much since in my experience with other recent Japanese horrors, 3D had been surprisingly good (The Shock Labyrinth and Tortured - but I guess that's just because Takashi Shimizu is an amazing visual director and storyteller). 

Here, we have a viral suicide video of some tortured artist which is actually an attempt to bring Sadako and her curse back to life; a school teacher who has a superpower that allows her screams to shatter anything around her, and a boyfriend who is dumb enough to watch the video. When Akane goes after Sadako for the return of her boyfriend, she apparently forgets she has this power, and allows herself to be chased and cornered for a stupid amount of time before using it too late. But hey, I laughed a lot...

If you happen to be interested in how this film plays with the concept of gender, see my full review Here, at

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Next up, Apartment 1303, which manages one star for story, since (despite the weak presentation) it is a scenario that would be legitimately scary.

LOL. This remake of Ataru Oikawa's 2007 film is only impressive in its display of how terrible an actress Mischa Barton is. Again, 3D nowadays is a really big tell, but in all fairness I put it on without realizing it had been unwittingly created for 3D suckers. With a rating of 2.7/10 on IMDB, you know you're in for a good time. 

The film does try, which might make it more pathetic. It tries to create full characters and big scares but unfortunately it can't quite make the mark. The film follows Lara who moves into her little sister's apartment directly following her suicide, which Lara finds very suspicious. And with good reason, her sister had not only expressed her hesitation about sleeping there alone but we actually get to see the ghostly attack. The first part of the film, which shows the hauntings and attacks, is not bad but once Mischa takes over it all falls downhill. Especially when they keep pushing the strained relationship with her mother which is so poorly presented it actually looks like a soap opera. 

Again, good for a laugh, and if you bother to imagine the circumstances taking place in your bedroom, you'll see it had potential, somewhere, at some point.

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For more One-Star Reviews, Check out Part I and II